How To: Survive a Hookah-Pocalypse

Have you ever found yourself wanting to smoke hookah but you didn't have the supplies necessary to make it happen? Perhaps you've got coals and a hookah but no shisha. Or, you've got everything set up and ready to go but then reach your hand into an empty box of charcoal and your night is ruined. The question to ask yourself is this - “Could I survive the Hookah-Pocalypse”?

Whether it's six days until payday, negative 10 degrees outside, your latest order from Hookah-Shisha won't arrive for two more days, or the streets are over-run by hordes of zombies hell-bent on human flesh. If you follow these suggestions you and your Hookah-Pocalypse survival kit will be able to smoke a great tasting bowl of shisha whenever you want.

This is, of course, a necessity. Everyone loves to have a snazzy show-piece hookah with a beautiful glass base, tall stem, and various accouterments, but when the zombie hordes are coming for you a durable hookah reigns supreme. If you are looking for a durable hookah we recommend something small like the Sheeshaya Hazard, MYA QT, or Shishabucks Cloud Micro.

When your friends are crying over their fancy broken bases you can lean back, smile, and smoke from your nearly indestructible hookah.

Missing out on a shisha session because you are out of coals is the worst. Coals are essential to a hookah session so keep yourself well stocked. We recommend always having an emergency box on hand, just in case. Pick up a box of Al Fakher Coals, or a box of CocoBrico Coals, and leave them in your Hookah-Pocalypse survival kit for emergency use only. And, if you reeeeeally want to be prepared, grab a couple of rolls of quicklight coals and a Bic lighter.

In a pinch you can always use regular old aluminum foil from the store. We recommend keeping a roll in your Hookah-Pocalypse survival kit, but true hookah masters know that only dedicated hookah foil is best. Hookah foil is cheap as can be so pick up an extra pack or two and toss them in your survival kit. If you don't dig the idea of all that foil we recommend ditching the foil altogether and getting yourself a nice, shiny, new Kaloud Lotus or a shisha foil screen.

Shisha, when stored properly (air-tight, away from heat/light), can last quite a long time. In order to keep yourself prepared we recommend keeping a sizable stash of your favorite simple shisha flavors. Mixed flavors are great, but if you are hunkering down for an extended stay in the zombie-proof bunker you will get bored of them quite easily. If you've got 500g - 1000g of three or four great flavors (think mint, lemon, strawberry, etc.) then you can make up your own mixes anytime you want and you'll be less likely to run out completely.

Anyone who has accidentally hit a dry hookah before can tell you that it sucks (pun intended) to try to smoke hookah without water. Keep a gallon or two of drinking water in with your emergency supplies and you can smoke in any situation, including one where your water is turned off. If you are thinking that you can just use some water from that creek behind your house, think again. That water is swimming with all sorts of things that you don't want to inhale. Spend the two bucks and keep a bit of clean drinking water on hand for when times get tough. (Keeping water on hand is just a no brainer anyway; drink up!)

As the Hookah-Pocalypse draws on and on your supplies will start to dwindle. Tough choices will have to be made (like whether you want to drink the last of your emergency water or smoke one last bowl of shisha) and if you are smart and conserve your supplies, you can keep on smoking long after your comrades have run out of their supplies. One of the best ways to stretch your hookah supplies is with the use of a hookah windcover. Not only do you use less coals with a windcover, your bowls also smoke longer.

Last, but not least, you should always have a roll of paper towels on hand. As society crumbles so may your beloved hookah grommets, and without them your hookah will leak air like a sieve and your hookah sessions will suffer greatly. But, worry not fellow survivalists! A bit of damp paper towel can seal up a leaky hookah in no time with the timeless 'paper-towel-trick'; and in post-apocalyptic society no one will make fun of your make-to hookah set-up if it works like a champ. 

With your newly acquired Hookah-Pocalypse survival kit you and those close to you will be smoking in style as the world around you crumbles (or until your next paycheck clears) while those around you curse their short-sightedness.

Be prepared for clouds!